Akihabara Dennou-gumi

Cyberteam in Akihabara integrates a distinct category of second-tier 90s anime that plays with equal portions of mahou shoujo, slice of life, romance and surprisingly good comedy.

The premise alone should help you leaving realism at the door: Hibari and her friends are proud owners of patapi, glorified tamagochis that became the most popular toy in Japan. Their patapi, however, turn out to be magical/technological transforming/summoning devices that bring the Divas to our world. The Divas are fighters so we obviously get a cast of bad guys (but not too much so) and a plot that lightly encompasses war and a certain magical castle in ... the sky. There are some greek mythology references here and there and a little of plot development but that should not be the reason for you to pick this anime.

It's strongest aspect is the self-conscious humour and charming silliness. The cast of main characters come each with their share of absurdity and the patapi are a joy to watch. The best episodes are centred on bizarre premises (like "the curry of love") and take the most unexpected turns. While none of it's "themes" achieve considerable depth, neither the script nor the dialogue are ever too obvious.

And ah, the villains. They dress in funky costumes, summon monsters and fight for the affection of their master, but they all work 9 to 5 and are in fact a caricature of your average 20 - 30s women caught up between the woes of uninspiring professional life and their dreams of happiness and true love. They get a surprising amount of screen time, with episodes where you can see them meeting for drinks after work to talk about their past and why they stick by their Shooting Star-sama.

The big con is that the series suffers from being terribly uneven. It's all great until the 6th or 7th episode, and then it nosedives in terms of animation and script - only bankruptcy can explain that drop in quality. Except for some 2 remarkable villain-focused episodes, I would recommend skipping towards the finale, which is thankfully in the same high standard as the first arch.

I recommend this series for anyone looking for some 90s anime nostalgia - when fan service was humorous and self-aware as opposed to embarrassing and light-hearted plots could still be touching. There is something clever about Cyberteam in Akihabara. Don't be afraid to use an episode guide to enjoy only the best from this anime.

What did I just watch?

Art 3/10

First, let me address the elephant in the room, yes, the ecchi elephant who is charging people for the chance to look up her skirt.

A genre this anime definitely belongs in is "ecchi" category because for a magical girl anime where the main characters are five 12 year old girls there is a surprising amount of fan service including panty flashes, bouncy boobs, and that thing where a girl is taking a bath and the steam covers her nipples and vagina.

Normally, I like fan service as much as the next guy, but, considering these are 12 year ... old girls were talking about, this is more uncomfortable then sexy. Seriously, I cringe whenever they do a panty flash.

Besides the ecchi scenes, the other problem I have with this anime is the fights scenes in this anime are terrible. They only ever last about a minute and even then they're choreographed so that heroes and the monsters only exchange two or three attacks before the fights over.

Furthermore, why is there a villain whose power is she shoots lasers out of her nipples?!

Characters 3/10

I didn't find anything likeable about the five main characters.

Hibari only ever talks about friendship and "the handsome prince of her dreams"; Tsugumi's only character trait is that she's a tomboy; Kamome loves money; Suzume has this redundant way of speaking like she ends all her sentences with "I do indeed"; and Tsubame barely says anything.

However, the thing that really kills me about this anime is the villains. Theses are some of the stupidest and most incompetent villains I've ever seen.

Jun, Miyama, and Hatoko (collectively called "the three crazy ladies") are always trying to steal the girls patapi for their boss, Master Shooting Star, and summon monsters to fight with.

The reason I think they're so stupid, however, is that: first, when they get defeated do they go back to their evil hideout to plan they're next evil plan like other villains? No, they actually have normal lives when they aren't being evil. Jun works at an office, Miyama is a college student, and Hatoko is a pop idol. Second, do they have some cool suit-up sequence for when they transform into their villainous alter egos? No, they just get changed in a locker room.

I really don't know if this is supposed to be a satire about superheroes or maybe it's suppose to create realism, but either way it doesn't work.

Story 7/10

The story for the anime was confusing at first and just felt like another monster-of-the-week story, but when everything is explained in the shows later episodes it really does come together and makes sense. There's even a big twist as to who the real villain is and what his plan is.

However, one thing that boggles my mind about this anime is: why is it the girls patapi that transform and not the girls themselves? Wouldn't this be like if in Sailor Moon it was Serena's cat and not Serena who transforms.

Overall 4/10

I have no idea if this anime was meant to be a parody of magical girl anime or if it was suppose to cater to adults with lolita complexes, but either way it just doesn't work.

The only good thing about this anime is that almost reaches that level bad where it's so bad it's funny, but it even fails at that by actually having a good story.

STORY

ADG was another series with hopes of standing out by mixing a bunch of genres, and another example of how stupid it turns out to be when you think that all it takes is shoveling ideas without planning ahead. It had no idea of what it was trying to be about, jumping from one genre to another without ever utilizing their full potential. Here is what I mean:

- It has cute girls going to high school and doing the usual teenage stuff we see in Slice-of-Life. Looking for romance, fame, learn to cook, clean, dream about the future and the like. But they didn’t really ... manage to accomplish any of those. None got into a serious romantic relationship or clearly improved at something social.
- It promotes karaoke and pop idols. But none of the girls chased the carrier of a pop idol. And the girl who already was one, remained stale at it.
- It has cute little robots, called Patapi, transforming into busty, fighting chicks that protect the world. People keep talking about them all the time, showing us a proxy battle story like Digimon or Shaman King. But it never gets into fanatic proportions, in order to brainwash us into blindly liking them.
- It has girls transforming into powerful heroines and fighting an evil hidden organization in very repetitive and predictable ways, like in Mahou Shojo series. But it never exploits this aspect, as the battles are short and lame.
- It has numerous sleazy jokes about boobs and old men peeping at panties, like in any Ecchi series. But it never goes too far and mostly repeats the same pattern, thus failing to be interesting for long.
- It has some Drama and Dementia aspects, as some characters have really messed up pasts. But none of these manage to absorb you, since they last too little and are almost abandoned from a point on.
- It has several Mysteries and Metaphysical overtones revolving happiness, God and the Apocalypse. Quotes from the Bible keep popping up. Names and concepts from several mythologies and civilizations keep being used. Goals like world peace, immortality, the evolution of mankind and salvation of the soul are mentioned. But they are all presented in such vague ways that you eventually don’t care about them.
- Episode 22 is dedicated solely into explaining every mystery in just 20 minutes. It’s a huge infodump that makes you more confused than satisfied.
- Robots, Nanomachines, space stations and several more provide a Sci-fi aspect as well. You get a scientific explanation about everything supernatural in the story but they could easily dub it “magic” without much worry.

I admit this mix was very interesting and the story did try to explain everything. But in the end, it was a bunch of irrelevant ideas that went to waste. Nothing managed to truly stand out in all this mess and the ending was very disappointing.

CAST

- All characters are stereotypes. You can find the same archetypes in 99% of anime. Just a quirk in behavior, a vague backdrop story, a different hair color and you’re done! None has a strong presence, none matures much and none really has real catharsis in the end.
- The villains outshine the heroines. They had goals, they had a decent story, drama, ideals, a twisted vision of aiding humanity. What did the heroines have? Tits and pink panties. You choose…

ART

- Not only the series shows its years but it also has a minimalistic way of depicting objects and people. The colors are generally bright, human figures are drawn with only essential details and everything gives off a feeling of silliness. The only realism you will find in it, are the real photographs of historical events and of medieval drawings the animators scanned in some backgrounds.
- On the good side, there are numerous occasions where the background has interesting artwork (laboratories, space stations) and the characters interact with it in very likable ways. Be on the lookout for the (usually silly) things the characters will be doing with their surroundings.
- About the girls: Really big eyes, really short skirts, really dumb looks. The high school girls look like 10 year-olds, as a cheap way to be moe enough for both male and female viewers. And they wear all those corny big ribbons, fluffy cloths and shiny leathers that most series use as fetishes. There is a lot of focus on their boobs and underwear as constantly presented fan service. Generally, the animators present the girls as male sexual fantasies without ever going too far into spicy territory.
- About the boys: Who cares! This is a girl series! Males like fathers, male students and politicians were used just for more sex jokes or for serious events. The main villains in the story are in fact men; both dreamy males and sinister middle aged dudes. But they will look so generic that you will not care about them.
- About the mecha and the monsters: Pathetic! They are ugly and crudely drawn. The best ones are the Divas and the Valkyries just because they look like sexy female warriors and not because they pack some serious equipment.
- There are lots of stills, repeated transformations and ridiculous deformity that really turns you off during the battles. Facial expressions lack vividness, body movement lacks liveliness. You clearly won’t watch the series for its action or special effects.

SOUND

- Very good voice acting as each character was talking with a distinctive tone of voice and was using a different form of dialogue. But it’s all wasted because of the crudely drawn characters and their silly grimaces. And you must bear some really lame high-pinch voices and Patapi squeks.
- Most songs were J-pop trash about teenage girl romance bull. The series promotes karaoke and pop-idols but using them during singing scenes was really out of place since there was complete lack of lip-sync. The rest were quite atmosheric, as they were serious and eerie, and they were used during serious moments and important revelations.
- Sound Effects are as pathetic as the visual effects. You can easily skip those.

FINAL THOUGHTS

If I hadn’t watched any other successful genre-mixing series, I would probably like it far more. But since I have seen those in my Suggestion List, this title has nothing to offer.

There is also a movie sequel to the series but don’t expect anything more. That weird space station is to no-good and the girls are sent to save the day again. The animation is far better and the silly-looking characters look a bit more serious and matured. But it is still the sequel to a series about cheesy battles, lame heroines and a metaphysical but terribly killed-in-presentation main idea. Shoo! Away with it!

VERDICT: 3.5 / 10
And then the naked girl rides her mechanical Pegasus and teleports to the pink volcano where the spinning tomato keeps singing about how small the porridge was one second ago. It picks its nose with the tail of a grape and… What? The story sucks? But it has so many interesting ideas!

SUGGESTION LIST
Successful multi-genre-mixing series: The Vision of Escaflowne and Brigadoon.
Successful mix of Mecha with Religion and Metaphysics series: Neon Genesis Evagelion, Ghost in the Shell, Zegapain, Ergo Proxy, Argento Soma, Betterman, Soul Taker and Rahxephon.
Successful Mahou Shojo series: Princess Tutu, Sailor Moon and Card Captor Sakura.
Successful Pop Idol series: Looking For The Full Moon and Perfect Blue.
Successful Kids-paired-with-monsters series: Digimon.