Daimajuu Gekitou: Hagane no Oni

All I can really say is that this is boring bottom of the barrel crap with no depth (no, the bottom of a barrel doesn't count as depth). It's very forgettable. I'm reviewing it immediately after watching it and ngl I don't remember most of the major plot points. Movies are supposed to draw the viewer in, entertain them, or at least be able to be made fun of, but this has none of that. It's like every mech anime ever made, and the robots look the same as every other robot. There's no pizzazz. Bottom line, making a giant laser weapon with freshly discovered ... science is never a good idea in the movies, and once again, shit hit the fan immediately after testing the space laser. They should have all been taken out by the tsunami that the impact from the laser caused, but no, this is an anime, it's not going to be realistic, especially not one from before 2000. Which is why I watched it of course.

Considering the fact that I don't even remember the characters names this fell utterly flat. As for the animation it really wasn't that bad, the evil robot did look pretty cool and the fight sequences were not bad. The soundtrack was actually pretty damn good. The more classical music esque type of vibe fit very well, I feel. I'm never watching this again.

If you discover a new particle through a particle accelerator that looks eerily similar to a magic circle, your first impulse should NEVER be to build a giant orbital laser with the aforementioned particle and fire it into the ocean just to see what happens. Just don't do it. I hope to god the guys operating the Large Hadron Collider have a bit more restraint when they're making science.

On that note, I really wish that the creative team behind Demon of Steel had been a bit *less* restrictive on... everything.

I don't feel like rehashing over the story again at all:there's no depth to it. This ... kid comes back to a creepy government base after a portal to Hell shits out a giant biomech. His scientist friend has been acting strangely *possessed* with his work, so he comes over to cheer him up, or at least ask him why the hell this scientist friend sent him a creepy-ass note. The guy turns out to be possessed by a malevolent being from Dimension X or whatever, and he proceeds to kill just about everyone on the island. Whoops. Spoiler alert.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Well, there are demons and shit, right? At least we get some trippy imagery and Megami Tensei-style craziness out of the deal?"

Well, you'd be wrong. I could have eaten a whole sheet of acid beforehand and this wouldn't have drawn out anything more than a yawn. Anime with no plot to speak of and one-dimensional characters can be always be saved by two things: unintentional hilarity and good old WTFness...

This has neither of them. Any potential it had for gag-inducing scenes of people being raped or ripped apart by demons was sadly overlooked for a lot of dragged-out setup dialog that could have been fit into a paragraph spoken by an old scientist who laughs at the havoc he's about to unleash. In fact, it does exactly that, and the movie even summarizes all of the events up until the BIG BATTLE in a 5 second flashback/montage thing!

So, what about that battle?
Like far too many anime series, movies, OVAs, etc., especially ones with totally fuck-rad giant robots, the really good and meaty part is near the end. The cool-looking biomechs from Hell face off in a disappointing fight after a horrible-ass 80's "suit-up" song and montange with even worse engrish lyrics. The song is so bad I don't even want to spend more time complaining about it.

Now, I wondered where I had seen this method before: tons of utterly boring filler for almost 45 minutes of a 56 minute production, and then an anti-climactic mecha fight between two awesomely designed robots... So, I went back to MAL, and what did I see?

Toshiki Hirano.

THAT FUCKING BASTARD.

That celluloid glue-sniffing assbastard (one word, like cockmaster) stole two hours of my life with Dangaioh. On both of the occasions that I tried to watch it, I fucking fell asleep! At least Dangaioh had fanservice, a cool fight scene, and good animation!

Demon of Steel doesn't even have that. The "Good Animation Button" that bubble economy-era OVA production teams love pounding seems to have been broken during the making of DoS, as the framerate and detail barely flares up, even during the anticlimactic fight scene. Sometimes, it feels like you're looking at a college project (which this very well could have been for all I know). There isn't even any fanservice. The main "love" interest is butt-ugly, and when the only hot chick asks the main if she can "Come up to his room, hurr hurr", he refuses. What the fuck? This anime is about demon robots--why the hell would you want to get puritanical all of a sudden?

Ugh.

This movie is made of disappointment, shame, and regret.
Disappointment because I expected far too much of it based on some cool-looking screenshots. Shame, because I wanted to enjoy it, and regret, because I could have spent that time looking at porn.

You'd be better off watching something like Detonator Orgun.
Or pornography.