Byston Well Monogatari: Garzey no Tsubasa

TL;DR - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_8Bhz5c224, SO BAD IT'S GLORIOUS!

This is not an anime to watch alone. This is an anime to watch on bad movie night. This is the anime equivalent of Tommy Wiseau's The Room. This is Plan 9 From Outer Space. This is the anime equivalent of hilariously campy.

The story offers little to no background in what is clearly a rather complex fantasy world. Don't bother yourself by trying to figure anything out. It won't do a lick of good. Just sit back and laugh at this comedy gold.

I don't give a crap about talking art-style and character ... development (with the exception of Giant Tawrad, who has an inexplicably large sword he inexplicably never uses in battle; he is the bees knees!!!), what I care about is the sound. It is of the utmost importance that you go straight for the English dub of this cult masterpiece, because it's what truly shines. From half-assed "screams" of despair to quotable gems like "You certainly got sexy," this dub has it all. Do you like watching a guy talking to himself across a dimensional rift with dialogue that is incredibly nonsensical? Of course you do! I kid you not, a master writer could TRY to make this worse and fail.

The real key is that this is not the kind of bad that hurts because you just can't stand to have it on for another second, this is the kind of bad that hurts because your sides will ache from all the laughing you'll be doing.

Strange case we got here: a show so bad that it's good! Make sure to watch this show dubbed though because ever single line is delivered with such horribly delivery that you can only question if the actors have ever held a normal conversation with a person before.

The story and characters in this show are just awful. The story barely makes a damn bit of sense and the characters reactions to it are just terrible. That's not to say that there is not enjoyment to be had here because there is plenty of enjoyment to be had here, everything is so bad it makes you ... want to finish watching it at the very least. At least the art is watchable, but still pretty bad.

We have our main, Chris, and for some reason he gets spirited away by a giant glowing duck and we never really get an explanation. He's spirited away to the same place where Aura Battler Dunbine takes place, but for some reason he was only half spirited away and is still in the real world, where everyone acts like it is perfectly normal that he is half there and half in the past. The plot holes are so frequent you can only wonder if anyone bothered to proofread this before they started animating it. He has a lot of scenes where he talks with himself and the dialogue and acting in them are just so godawful that every line feels like it makes fodder for instant memes ("Oh my god I felt like I was having a dream!"). The cutest thing here is that the story thinks that its serious, but every aspect of it is so marvelously terrible, from the basics, the ending, everything in the middle, the characters, the interactions, the predictability, that you mostly end up watching it for the horrendously bad dialogue. Therein lies why I say that the enjoyment factor is high, it's sorta like going to a friend's school play where no one can act and you secretly snigger during the performance, but instead of acting awkward when you compliment them afterwards, you can let your true feeling out and just laugh your head off.

Recommend watching this with a group of friends though, it will only add to the enjoyment factor. You'll question how this went so terribly wrong given that the guy behind Gundam made it. Be sure to watch dub though or you'll miss out on the inadvertent humor at every turn. And that fairy is creepy.

Overview:

When you ask Otaku today what the worst anime in existence is, you get answers like Pupa, Mars of Destruction, and maybe Kis X Sis. When you asked otaku in the 1990s what the worst anime series were, you got one of 2 answers: MD Geist or Garzey's Wing. Since I already reviewed Geist, it was inevitable that I would one day have to review this pile.

The Legend:

Let us travel back in time to the 1990s when everyone was talking about this shitty movie called Garzey's Wing. You probably had dial up internet, and booting up a plain text site could easily take 15 ... minutes even if you could keep your siblings and parents off the phone. Surfing the net...sucked! There were sites where anime was discussed, but no massive anime databases anything like MAL. Yet somehow entirely from word of mouth, rumor spread from anime club to anime club about this truly GOD AWFUL movie with the most confusing story, the lamest characters, and the absolute worst dub anyone had ever heard before! This was the legend of Garzey's Wing. What is most amazing is that it was written and directed by the same guy that created the Gundam franchise!!! Garzey's Wing was supposed to be a huge hit, but failed hard in Japan and every country in which it was released. In spite of this fact, mostly because they were evil bastards, Central Park Media decided in their infinite wisdom to adapt Garzey's Wing and give it an English Dub. The result was depending on your point of view either the funniest moment in anime history or the most insulting and atrocious raping the anime medium has ever received.

The Dub:

Led by the amazing vocal talents of Rick Nagel and a team of voice actors that mostly never appeared in anything EVER again, this cast is like the imperfection dream team. Every line delivered is either completely inhuman in its cadence and enunciation, or delivered with an odd tone, or is a laughably butchered Japanese pronunciation. Everything that possibly could go wrong, goes WAY wrong in Garzey's Wing. The original anime was terrible in Japanese, but this dub is just the perfect cherry on top.

Story and characters: 1/10

The story is supposed to be about an ordinary boy that has his spirit transferred to a magical land where he must fight evil whilst his now soulless body goes on living in our world. However, it would take about 3 times watching to even figure that much out. Garzey's Wing is absolutely inscrutable in its narrative, but not because it is trying to be artistic like Ergo Proxy or End of Evangelion. Instead the vagueness is derived sheerly from ineptitude. What should have been an unoriginal but at least average story becomes a complete nightmare of bullshit. Most of the characters are either forgettable or unlikeable, with the most memorable being the fairy Falan Fa. If you thought Puck from the Berserk manga was annoying, Oh boy are you in for a treat! This guy makes Happy from Fairy Tail seem like the most awesome character in the world.

Animation: 3/10

Although the animation isn't quite as bad as the plot, characters, and dubbing, it is still pretty shoddy even by the standards of low budget 1990s OVAs. Now THAT is a statement.

Overall: 1/10

If you are curious about Garzey's Wing, go to youtube and check out some clips. I would advise against watching the whole movie, since you just may overdose on its shittyness and die! Somehow this movie was actually re-released on DVD in the early 2000s. Every copy of Garzey's Wing should be put in a large shipping crate and given over the US government like the end of Raiders of the Lost Arc.

"Heaven and Hell, all that's in between is a world called Byston Well."
That, and a metric shitton of fudgery that somehow got made into an anime.

Welcome to LawlMartz' shlockfest, episode iforgothowmany, where I watch garbage 80s and 90s OVAs, temporarily lose my sanity, and when they let me out of the asylum, I recount my experiences in review format- usually with destructive results.

Garzey's Wing is no exception. This is one of the most unequivocally, fundamentally awful anime with almost no peers, aside from Tomino's own creations. It wasn't even as hard to watch as Brain Damagd, but was just incomprehensibly and fundamentally bad ... on every level. One wonders how someone can even come up with such a ridiculously nonsensical story, and at no level, ever be challenged by anyone else involved with the production. *COUGH GEORGE LUCAS AND THE STAR WARS PREQUELS*

It's so bad in fact, that I don't think Yoshiyuki Tomino even realized just how terrible this show was. He's an old guy, maybe he was just off his meds that... decade... of the 90s where he produced nothing but absolute CRAP! He's a curious man, Tomino. He created Gundam, the first, and possibly the best Mecha series of all time. Certainly the most recognizable. A revolutionary in the sci fi genre (much like George Lucas) in the 70s and 80s... and then the 90s happened. Lucas began production on The Phantom Menace, aka, the movie that ruined everyone's childhood and disappointed their adulthoods, in 1997. In 1997 Tomino was finishing Garzey's Wing and starting Brain Powerd, which has the distinction of being the ABSOLUTE WORST ANIME OF ALL TIME. Move the fuck over, Idea Factory, here comes muthaphucckin Yoshiyuki Tomino and his parade of nonsensical alligator shit!

Are you seeing the parallels here? George Lucas blows us away with a visionary classic like Star Wars in the late 70s and 80s. Tomino blows us away with a genre setting classic Gundam in the late 70s and 80s. George Lucas creates a schlocksterpiece of unholy proportions in 1999, beginning a trilogy of heretofore unseen excrement to life, trying desperately to copy his own successes from 20 years prior, and while he makes so much money that he can wipe his ass with it, the product has not stood the test of time. In fact, you could say it's a product of George's ass. Not a piece of shit. A WHOLE SHIT.
Likewise, Tomino has ridden the coattails of his own success since Gundam fell off... and desperately tries to be "sew originul" with Garzey's Wing.

Let the brains oozing out of ears commence. Buckle up ladies and gentlemen, because it's about to get really freaking weird.

I can only imagine that the script and screenplay for Garzey's Wing was written by a crack addict who was told to mash up Peter Pan, the story of the Jews' Exodus from Egypt, and Mark Twain's 1889 novel "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" into one completely incoherent, brain blended, meth smoking 3 episode mess. Only someone on a bender of galactic proportions could have thought to put something like this together, but I fear the truth of this may be much simpler, and that I'm reading far too much into it... there probably was no thought process. This is the result of a show being written by a tweaked out goldfish attempting a stream of consciousness narrative. It's pond scum.


Sound section: -∞

Selected quotes:

"Oh my GAWD I felt like I was having a dream! My body is aching, I'm bruised all over! It's because I had to fight NAKED!" - MC Chris

"If you taste it or smoke it, you get happy and do crazy things!" - Talking about this highly volatile explosive

"You failed the college entrance exam twice now!"
"It doesn't matter, I will come back after I attend the high school class reunion pool party tomorrow!"

"He is just a human. Humans are just human."

"I"m being chased by a real army! With dinosaurs using bows and arrows! And my sword is incredibly dull!" -MC Chris

"I must somehow make sense of our CONVOLUTED situation!" - MC Chris

The next assault on the viewer comes courtesy of Central Park Media. This is also CPM's finest right here. In that was truly freaking terrible. Stilted doesn't even begin to describe the level of contempt that regurgitates this anime from the bowels of the schlock monster into LEGENDARY status!
It's so damn bad that it gets to the point where you're hearing these ridiculous statements, each more preposterous than the last, and you eventually just become numb to it and don't even realize that it just gets worse. Every single line is like a non sequitur answering a non sequitur on top of a non sequitur.

The main character, MC Chris is like an idiot savant version of Peter Pan who gets abducted into 1400BC to become Warrior Jesus but while also being the Connecticut Yankee and killing a lot of dinosaurs, but at the same time he has to save the priestess and kill Gilgamesh but he can't because his sword is incredibly dull. Then he transports back in time to his high school class reunion pool party, but he passes out and goes into a coma and then back in 1200AD the dinosaurs step on some guys and he grows rainbow wings and stabs a thing and then throws rope bombs and gets high and sees fairies and then when he wakes up from his cocaine fueled rage, finds that he's killed a man, but thankfully he can teleport back to Japan and nothing happens except a lot of puke.

The moral of the story? Drugs are bad.
I really need some drugs after this. Drink the pain away... drink the pain away... drink the..

I'm offering clorox eyewashes behind walmart after this.
Trust me, you're going to need it
That, and buy my patented NaOCl (bleach) DeTox. Just one pint of this a day, and you'll be cured from all your anime woes. I've been doing it for about a year, and the results will shock you.

You'll probably start watching this kind of garbage too.

Verdict: Yoshiyuki Tomino and MC Chris are to be eaten by the War Beast Army Corps of the Great Baraju Tree of Wafuundu!

“I MUST SOMEHOW MAKE SENSE OF OUR CONVOLUTED SITUATION!”

This anime is a horrifyingly hot mess. The story line is a disaster, the character development is all over the place, and at some point your brain just gives up trying to figure it out. Technically this anime gets a 1/10.

However,

That said, the dub is just so bad that it's ABSOLUTE GOLD. Watch it with a big group of people, you won't be disappointed. Its rare to find a show with the English translation and voice acting so horrible that you are put into a state of cringe worthy bliss. Worth the watch, 10/10.

Imagine, if you will, that you've been transported to a fantastical alternative universe. In this world enormous creatures, resembling dinosaurs roam the landscape. Yet there are still people here: foreign looking ones though, and wearing clothes from the sixteenth century. And if all that wasn't depressing enough, your sword is considerably less sharp than you would have anticipated. Welcome to the world of Byston Well, and the exercise in terrible production that is Garzey's Wing!

Anyone who has ever dreamed of creating a work of narrative fiction: be it a film, a novel or an anime, would be well advised to watch Garzey's Wing, because ... it is composed entirely of examples of what not to do when writing. You'll find out what some of the worst possible ways of providing 'exposition' are. You'll discover why sometimes, less really is more. Finally, you'll learn why hiring amateur voice actors is a bad idea.

On the off chance you're not interested in making up a story of your own, Garzey's Wing is still worthy of your time. It is arguably the funniest anime ever made, because the people who made it really didn't have a clue. Let's take the director and original creator Yoshiyuki Tomino for example: besides Garzey's Wing, the only other noteworthy project he's been involved in is some old and obscure mecha series called "Gundam". Oh, that Yoshiyuki Tomino.

Yes, the man behind one of the most famous anime franchise of all time, and the inspirational, game-changing, original 1979 series of Gundam also made this, the most hackneyed attempt at a fantasy story ever made. It's hard to believe that Tomino didn't realise what he was doing wrong before it was too late.

The opening scene pretty much sets the tone for the entire series, highlighting all of the problems which we can expect for the next ninety minutes succinctly. A close up of an unappealing looking insect creature (a cicada) above some traffic. Our hero, Christopher Chiaka, is sitting atop his motorcycle and looking like a badass. Heavily exaggerated car horns in the background leave us in no doubt: he is, unquestionably, at the side of a road. Christopher may be a badass, but he's not stupid: he wouldn't dream of riding his motorcycle without the necessary safety equipment. Unfortunately, his female friend Rumiko didn't get the memo:

"Aren't you hot with such heavy clothing?"

Before Christopher, or Chris, has the opportunity to explain to Rumiko why wearing loose clothing on a motorcycle is potentially dangerous, she follows up with an altogether far more relevant question:

"Why do you have to go back to your hometown now? You've already failed the college entrance exams twice now."

Three sentences in, and already you feel like you've known Chris your entire life. But such economical dialogue comes with a heavy price, in that it seems totally artificial.

Rumiko's observation about Chris's clothing choice is an example of what is soon to become a trend in this anime: relentless question about insignificant details. This time it is a stupid question about clothing choice, later on it will be everything from the names of various mythical beasts to trivial questions at awkward moments. There is no reason why, amid the heat of battle, the protagonist would need to know what the name of the specific monster he is fighting at that moment. Such information may be important later, but someone with a gun pointed at their head is unlikely to be concerned with identifying the specific model before its owner pulls the trigger.

Her question about why Christopher wants to return to his home town demonstrates another failure in the dialogue: attempting to explain what is happening by asking questions retrospectively . It seems unlikely that over the course of Chris's visit with Rumiko, neither of them had the opportunity to discuss any upcoming engagements they might have in the near future. It may not be completely out of the question on this occasion, but this isn't the only example. It's unlikely for example that the Emperor of Byston Well would need to have a myth about the 'Great Baraju tree' explained to him by one of his military officers. If such information was pertinent to the defense of the realm, one would think defending it would be incorporated into their long-term military strategy.

The third line highlights the final common fault in the dialogue: the preponderance of non sequiturs. What connection does Chris returning to his hometown have to do with him failing his college entrance exams? Is he returning home because he failed his entrance exams? Was he intent on attending University in his hometown, after having moved away at some later stage in his life? Or perhaps the purpose of the trip is something frivolous, such as a class-reunion pool party?

Of course, one can look at Garzey's Wing through a critical lense and analyse it in the same way one would with any other film, but doing so undermines its more endearing properties. It's one thing to read through Rumiko's opening dialogue, but to listen to it is quite another. The voice actress who played her character seems to be unable to differentiate between 'annoyed' and 'furious'. It was obviously intended that her character was disgruntled by Christopher's sudden departure, yet the actress shouts out her lines in a loud and aggressive tone as though he had just spat in her face. It's actually hard to believe that even someone who's never acted before could misread their lines so badly. This is made crystal clear in her last line, when she lets out the positively catty remark "You're so easy-going!"

This is the first of many memorable lines from Garzey's Wing, and merely writing it down is making me chuckle. Rumiko is ultimately a minor character but every other member of the cast shares her foibles. The voice actor who plays Christopher is even worse: he is utterly incapable of showing emotion. He delivers every line in exactly the same tone regardless of situation, whether sharing the feeling of terror as he is chased by a "real army" or expressing deep sorrow that he was unable to attend his class reunion. The only variable, is volume. He shouts, and then he shouts even louder.

The story lacks all cohesion, and amid all the exposition one quickly loses track of what is important and is merely detail. The leaden quality of the acting makes it impossible to invest in the plight of any of the characters and the sheer ridiculousness of the whole thing prevents you from taking anything in it seriously. At the same time it is this ridiculousness, and the cringe worthy dialogue, which makes Garzey's Wing particularly entertaining to watch. If you cannot bring yourself to watch ninety minutes of junk food anime, then I recommend at least taking the time to watch the condensed version.

This is a poor excuse for an anime I’ve seen. The story line is hard to understand and it’s nothing but fighting and dialogue, repeating dialogue and just poor creating. I never want to have to watch something like this again. This would have been better as a hentai, then at least it would have a reason to be bad. There is no romance in it like what I have seen other websites saying it should have it unless there is a romance between the little fairy that sounds like Navi and that’s just plain wrong.

By the way, the whole story line feels like it’s ... the story of Moses. Just thought that I would bring that up.

The animation is pretty poor and rather off. Mouths move way too much and the action scenes are pretty bad. I really don’t know what else to say about it. It’s just really stinking bad.

Freaken kill my ears why don’t you? It’s a really bad English dub. It’s a wall of text that feels like they aren’t even acting at all. Sentences feel like they were being read by a computer and not people. Names are said wrong, things are said more then once, and the character called Felario sounds like a sexual thing. It’s just bad! I have no clue how this was aloud to be brought out into the public. And yes, it’s pretty much worse then Eiken. Something tells me that the Japanese isn’t any better but I’m not interested in watching this again.

On one rainy day at home in London, I decided to visits the deepest depths of the anime rabbit hole to the find anime that are considered to be the worst of all times. Inside the anime rabbit hole, I found of bunch garbage animes that I have seen before such as Big Order, Ousama Game The Animation and Mirai Nikki as well some that I haven’t seen yet such as Vampire Holmes, Hanoka, and Psychic Wars. Now out of all the anime that I dug out from the anime rabbit hole Garzey Wing was the most interesting one of the bunch due to the ... show being directed by non-other than Tomino the man who also gave us the Gundam franchise.

Before I watched Garzey Wing I was curious of how bad it would be because before I watched this all the anime that were from the rabbit hole insulted me in one way an another due to those show having broken writing, offensive characters, to piss poor production values.

Then I watched it from start to finish and I can safely say out of all the anime from the anime rabbit hole Garzey Wing is easily the funniest anime from the anime rabbit hole that made me laugh a bunch of times. Don’t get me wrong this show is still an embarrassing waste of animation that doesn’t function correctly that also has some of the worst pacing storytelling and animation directing I have ever seen in an anime. No joke.

So how bad is this show? You’re going to find out soon enough.

Story.
What I have gotten myself into.

Do you know what? I am not going to bother explaining this piece of shit story because clearly this OVA clearly doesn’t know what storytelling, pacing, and direction is and if I did tell you the story it wouldn’t matter due to how fucking nonsensical it is. Trust me the less you know about the plot the better you only get a massive headache if you try to analyze the plot.
The story of Garzey Wing is an inconstant, confusing and poorly written mess. It also doesn’t help the fact that shows pacing is abysmal. Its way too fast for its own good it hardly slows the fuck down and it completely destroyed the story narrative. The first 20 minutes of episode 1 you will hammer down thanks to the show being weird and random for no reason. Do you know why the tribe is fighting this unknown kingdom am sure as hell don’t? So yeah the hell with foreshadowing and substance let’s just dump all the bullshit on the spotlight for no reason other to be retarded.
As for the events of the real world, you can take them out of the ova and the story wouldn’t change that much. It’s just god awful filler if you ask me.

Am just going to end the story selection here because since Garzey Wing doesn’t give two shits about storytelling so why should I even bother.

1/10

Characters.
The characters in Garzey are just idiotic moving bodies on screen and because of the show, abysmal pacing none of the characters get any development as well the appropriate screen time that they need. Hell, some of the characters in this series would pop up at random in one episode and after that, they never reappear again. For example, the guy with the golden armor he seemed to be a big rival for Chris in the story and he had a connection to this priests woman but we never see him again after the second episode.
Chris is just a horrendous inconstant protagonist who barely gets any character development however when he does get some form of character development it feels forced and unnatural. Also, the whole concept of Chris’s powers are poorly explained and not to mention retarded. Seriously wings on your damn feet that really creative isn’t it.
Overall the characters in Garzey’s Wing are just moving bodies on the screen that don’t get developed correctly due to lack of screen time.

1/10
Visuals.

The visuals are below average for the most part however it can be abousltly horrendous at times.
The character designs are meh overall but the actual animation in this season is abysmal
At one point in the ova when Chris was stepping back so he can use his arrows. Well instead of having walking animation for it some dumbass from the animation team ultimate decided to be cheap by manipulating an image across the frame in a video editor and to call it a day the animation team decided to do a terrible mid shot that covers Chris legs so they can hide the fact that the scene is poorly directed/animated. ANIMATION STAFF. WE ARE NOT THAT STUPID. WE CAN CLEARLY SEE HOW FUCKING CHEAP THE MOVEMENT WAS AND YOU DIPSHITS CAN GET AWAY WITH YOUR CHEAP SHIT!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!
To add insult to injury the camera work and visual directing of this ova are abysmal beyond belief.
Overall this show visually is god awful.

2/10

Sound.
The soundtrack for Garzey’s Wing is below average at best, however, the ending theme was kinda decent I guess.
Now we get to the fun part or the final nail in the coffin.
I haven’t seen the Japanese version but I saw a few clips of it and I thought it was okay but that isn’t you want me to talk about. Oh hell no you want me to know about the dub. Simply put it’s the worst dub I’ve ever seen in my life and I don’t think it can ever be topped.

It’s worse than 4Kids.

The show may start off as one of those so bad it's good type of dubs where it has some hilarious acting moments. However, as the series progresses the acting just becomes insufferable to the point where you want to pull your ears off.
Also, you know Tomino like to consistent problem adding excessive dialogue to his work. Well, Garzey Wing is the worst example of this. Rarely do the characters fucking shut up and if you watched this dubbed you probably want your computer monitor halfway through.

Final Thoughts.

What else can I honestly say about this waste of animation?
I had to push myself just to get through the whole fucking thing. It was so bad and boring that watching grass grow was more entertaining than this show. In the end, I pushed through just to see it got any better and it didn’t and because of that, I have officially lost one and half hour of my life thanks to this piece of shit series. Yeah, it was funny at times but none of it matter when you have absolutely no substance.
As much I despise Victory Gundam with a passion least Tomino tried with the story and character even the show ended up being a depressing train-wreck that had some of the worst animation I have ever seen.
Garzey Wing would later become a joke for anime fans. Watch if you dare but trust me it won't be pretty


Final Score 1/10

You know, this isn’t just going to be a review, this is more of a warning sign of what not to do in an anime production or if you intend to watch this (and I know some of you curious enough to watch it will), you might as well be drunk enough to stomach through this one.
Garzey's Wing is infamous for having a minimally explained plot, so most ideas of the purpose must be extrapolated. The protagonist Chris is abruptly whisked away to a parallel world called Byston Well while his physical body remains in his home world. Chris' spiritual manifestation travels to a new ... world, where he is thrust into a rebellion. Chris is told that he has a mystical power called "Garzey's Wing", which causes large wings made of light to come out of his ankles, allowing him to fly and run quickly.

OK, let’s just get this out of the way right here right now, because this might as well be a FINAL VERDICT considering I don’t much to say about this and it’s that…...this show is absolute straight-up shit; the most confusing and mind-numbing anime OVA I have ever seen. I felt like I wanted to fall asleep from how unfocused and confusing the story is, whether if it’s the plot holes that I couldn’t be bothered to count or how the main character Chris is in the world of Byston Well and in the real world, too. They say his spirit is in there, but when he’s awake, he’s still in that world and I tried to figure that out but I would lose more IQ points if I did than I already did for the past 90 minute runtime.

I couldn’t make a lick of sense of what’s happening in the show as if they were even trying to confuse me on purpose and it worked. I really didn’t care about any character of this show and why should I? They felt more like actors in a low-budget stage play that your friend’s in and are too embarrassed to be associated with them. It also doesn’t help that all of them are practically annoying especially Falan Fa, that Navi from Legend of Zelda wannabe fairy whose voice gets more irritable every time she speaks.

The artwork and animation is so damn bad….I mean, I know it’s vintage circa the 90s but I saw anime like Evangelion, Berserk, Battle Angel Alita & especially Cowboy Bebop that had vintage animation but at least the animation for those shows (yes, especially Berserk) were better than the atrocity that J.C. Staff, one animation company that I was ready to forgive for Eiken, but it’s not going to happen anytime soon, unless I get an anime title from them that’s actually better….and yes, J.C. Staff have done better titles than this.

The music is very generic and forgettable and the ending theme song is also forgettable as I just skip through it to get to the next episode and while the music is done by Shiro Sagisu, who has done better work than this, it’s nothing to spark an interest of and of course the English dub ……. This thing is the three P’s: Pathetic, pitiful, and piss-poor. Why can’t anybody get that sometimes overacting isn’t always the solution to be entertaining? The lines from the actors sounded very forced and awkward as if the ADR director just told them to ham it up as possible as they can, but the problem with that is this anime is supposed to be taken seriously as the director intended but who would take this shit seriously?

Like I said, this show is awful….I mean, very awful. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy (Well, maybe if I wanted to mess with them.) I’m sure this anime is way out of print and it needs to stay that way……forever.

This OVA is not remotely good from a serious point of view, but it made me laugh more than I have in a while. It speeds along too fast for you to understand, the plot is sub-par at best, and you don't get a good feel of the characters at all. Yet, it's one of the more enjoyable series I've seen.
This is one of those that you watch when you just want a good laugh, or when you're hanging out with friends. It makes no sense, but you'll be rolling around on the floor in laughter, mostly due to confusion.

If you only have about an hour and a half to watch anything in the world, I would recommend Guy Ritchie's seminal comedy, Snatch. Make sure you catch the movie and not the terrible series that sought to be a spiritual successor. If you only had about an hour and a half to watch any anime in the world, though, I'd suggest Garzey's Wing.

Why?
Well, M.D. Geist Director's cut only has a runtime of 50 minutes so you'd only get to see the first episode of Garzey's Wing if you did that.

Let's just get into the weeds of it; Garzey's Wing is phenomenal.
Some people might ... insist the plot is meandering nonsense that goes nowhere; this is absolutely false. Garzey's Wing is an incredibly important part of the Byston Well Cinematic Universe--but even divorced from the context Aura Battler Dunbine, Garzey's Wing serves as a beautiful and gripping introduction to the world of Byston Well. If you aren't aware of what's happening in the larger plot, you might be willing to call the events of Garzey's Wing 'confusing' or 'pointless' and deride the OVA for that. This would be a mistake, as the protagonist's plight sees his whole world similarly turned upside down. If the purpose of the Isekai is to transport us to another world, Garzey's Wing has us in Chris' shoes, Amato Takeru no Mikoto and all.

There are people who will insist you watch the English Dub and that it will be more entertaining that way. This is correct. Do this.

Really, though, if Garzey's Wing has any true misstep, it's that it starts a bit too strong and ends on a rather baffling flat note. Ain't that just the way, though? Aura Battler Dunbine posits that war will only end when there are no more warriors; Garzey's Wing goes one step further in embodying Tomino's philosophy of War being a cyclical act that, in this case, literally draws children and is an inevitable human inclination. Chris is spirit-jacked into this wild conflict--no matter the era, humans will be at war. Even dinosaurs are involved. Give it a watch, especially if you've only got about an hour and a half to blow. The worst thing that can happen is you don't like it and then you can at least feel some solidarity with every other boring person who collectively rated this great time as a 4/10 experience.

Byston Well Monogatari: Garzey no Tsubasa is a notoriously bad OVA. It was brought to us by J.C. Staff and the creator of Gundam, Tomino Yoshiyuki. Is it as bad as people make it out to be? Is it, at least, entertainingly bad? Let's have a look.

Story:

We open with our protagonist, Chris, riding off on his motorcycle. While on his way home, the bell necklace he wears starts ringing and he finds himself being whisked away leaving his clothes and bike behind. He winds up in a fantasy world just in time to assist a slave revolt. With the assistance of magic wings he ... has to help lead the slaves to freedom while consulting with his real world self.

There are a lot of problems with the story from a narrative perspective. The principal one being that it's terrible of explaining anything. Why was Chris whisked away? Why is he in two places at once? What do his little ankle wings do besides letting him fly and better cosplay as Prince Namor? Why is the summoning magic a strictly one-way trip? All of these details were apparently deemed unimportant. Incidentally, Chris existing in two places at once doesn't really contribute anything to the story. Although it is hilarious and leads to some funny dialogue. Which does bring me to another narrative issue. The dialogue is frequently complete gibberish. Which is pretty funny, but it's also not intended to be. The ending is completely nonsensical too.

Characters:

The characters in this aren't that bad. The big issue with them is that they have nothing to them. But, unlike a lot of the truly wretched anime I've reviewed, they aren't obnoxious in their shallowness. They're just cardboard. The character interaction scenes are the least interesting to watch in the OVA just because the big story moments and action sequences are full of so much that's just off the wall stupid and unintentionally hilarious but the scenes that are purely interaction are just people droning on about nonsense.

Art:

The art in this series is probably the most unintentionally funny part of it. The sense of perspective is wonky. There are points where the art doesn't convey what's happening in the narrative. To give an example, various characters keep bringing up Chris' supposedly nasty bruises but we only ever see one and even that one disappears after a moment. The big villain for most of the series also has the most uproariously funny way of dismounting. He hops off of whatever his stead is while its rolling over onto its back. It makes no sense, it's incredibly stupid but it's also a really funny sight that needs to be seen. The action scenes are also a complete, barely decipherable mess. Which, oddly enough, can also be really funny.

Sound:

This is one of those series where the actors just don't seem to care. Iwanaga Tetsuya, Okamoto Maya, Hisakawa Aya Touma Yumi, they all deliver their lines like they're tired and just want to get it over with. To be fair, if I was handed this script, I wouldn't bother putting in an effort either and they aren't painfully bad. They're just weak performances. The music is the best part of the series, in terms of doing what it's actually supposed to. It was composed by Sagisu Shiro, who also worked on the score for Bleach. It's not anything special, but it's perfectly passable.

Ho-yay:

There really isn't any.

Final Thoughts:

That's Byston Well Monogatari: Garzey no Tsubasa. I can understand why it's as notorious as it is. The story is complete rubbish. The characters are weak. The acting is weak. The artwork is quite dreadful. However, it really isn't one of the worst things I've ever seen. Even ignoring the entertainment factor that can be derived from its unintentional hilarity. And I do kind of recommend watching it for the same reason I'd suggest watching Galerians or Corpse Party. While it is completely incompetent, it's incompetent in a way that's oh so amusing. My final rating is still going to be a 2/10, since it does fail pretty heavily at what it's trying to do. Next week it's my 300th anime review. Thank you so much for reading and have a spectacular week.

the short ova got very unfairly treated on this site. now, thats not a big surprise many other animes are, just to mention Gintama as an example. But contrary as many mediocre products are hyped for no good reason, this fragile movie got trampled brutally.

made a few years earlier than turnAgundam it is taking on again a material which got so distorted in the first animation under the pressure of the producers that Tomino felt it should be made once more without all the additions of aura battler. and so the story is presented in the harsh and brutal inviroment of a medieval world with ... little space and time for peaceful scenes of refreshment. the way the story is introduced and told is not unlike the later turnAgundam. Only the actions and the dialogues deliver informations, and so the watcher may feel here easily like the main character himself: thrown into it and forced to grasp here and there something to get a hold. in the meanwhile the pressure of the situation is moving the events on and poor chris and the audience is dragged along in the brutality of the moment. That is an accomplishment that's rather seldom.

but Garzey is serious. here is no place and time to create the smooth and gentle humour present in the much longer Gundam story. with short flashes of reaction in the voice or the face of one of the characters feelings, dislikes even doubts are produced. but like in real life, time for consideration and understanding is coming often after events happen. and the relativity of the viewpoint is never taken away from the viewer.

although this 3 part ova has not a great budget the compromises are few only. the animation itself could have been improved with more hands and time and Tomino a master of enriching a setting with many details would surely have liked that. but sound, voice acting and the general design of characters, animals and backgrounds are all very satisfying in the way they carry the movie. everything seems exactly in its place.

so let me say it once more, and clearly to understand: this is a real good anime.

An anime that puts most others released since 1996 to shame. I am here to talk about Tsui no Sora Garzey’s Wing.

Garzey’s Wing is a three episode OVA from 1996, taking place in both our world and the fictional land of “Byston Well,” which is apparently a world between heaven and hell (but not our Earth). This anime was written and directed by Yoshiyuki Tomino, the man behind the Gundam franchise – he also used the Byston Well world in the 1983 anime Aura Battler Dunbine.

The story follows Chris Chiaki, a high school graduate who just wants to go to his class reunion pool ... party. But alas, when the supernatural swan flies down and rips a part of your soul out of your body while driving by a shrine and somehow transports it to an alternate world, a damper may be put in your plans. Or at least it would if anything in this anime made sense. After having one instance of himself swept away to Byston Well, his other self continues to live on normally, and they can somehow communicate with each other as well.

Byston Well Chris shows up in the middle of a slave uprising, complete with dinosaurs, a fairy, glowing wings magically attached to his feet, and countless people asking things along the lines of “Is that Garzey’s Wing?” or “Oh my gosh, that skill! Is he the holy warrior?” Chris finds out that the bells one of the women used somehow resonated with the necklace he wore and he was somehow called from Earth… yeah, it doesn’t make much sense. It is also stated that his appearance somehow helps them to escape even though he barely does anything once he arrives.

The story continues with Chris aiding the Maetomius* tribe in their Oregon Trail-esque trek to find the Baraju Tree for some unexplained reason. It is also stated several times that they made their move because it was a leap year. BUT THEY NEVER SAY WHY IT ACTUALLY MATTERS THAT IT’S A LEAP YEAR. There are also several terms and names thrown around with no actual explained relevance to what is going on – the worst is the repeated mention of Yamato Takeru no Mikoto, a ninth century Japanese prince, whose mention over and over again would not be so bad if his name was shorter or if he was actually a character or relevant to the story.

*Quick note – I’m guessing on the spelling of most of these names. Most of them also sound like something a five year old would come up with.

For some nitpicking – the Maetomius tribe’s entire battle strategy seems to rely on Chris’ unreliable flying abilities, an explosive powder, and some giant who shows up halfway through – more on him later.There is also a point where someone from Byston Well mentions gunpowder even though there are no guns. Not to mention that Byston Well is never actually explained to Chris or the viewer, so it seems like he just ended up somewhere. Somehow.

All in all, the story is beyond terrible and is utterly pathetic. If you try to keep track of everything that is going on or being said, you will merely get a headache. It isn’t worth the effort.

Character-wise, Garzey’s Wing is a joke. Byston Well Chris is a crybaby who uses plot weapons to take down foes with mere kendo skill and plot armor to remain alive in the middle of a war. Earth Chris feeds him information via telepathy (even though they both talk out loud) on how to make things such as timed fuses and other things, while also going to the class reunion pool party that Byston Well Chris complains about missing.

Besides Chris, not many of the other characters actually matter. In fact, none of them feel important for anything besides advancing the plot. One example is Sata Urod, a giant who shows up halfway through the anime, can fly, and sounds like a poor attempt to impersonate Tom Hardy’s version of Bane from The Dark Knight Rises. He literally says that he wants to watch the Maetomius tribe more than assist them, yet continues to fly around and blow up their enemies for no particular reason.

The side characters basically include a large cast of characters that will do one of five things:

1 - Complain about Byston Well Chris not helping them enough (Leelince)
2 - Thank Byston Well Chris for helping them (most of the Maetomius tribe)
3 - Talk in the background about the war in terms that make no sense (Keras Keita)
4 - Sort of help Byston Well Chris/apologize to him (Falan Fa and Hassan)
5 - Do nothing of value (everyone Earth Chris talks to)

The main antagonist is a guy named Zaguso who’s trying to stop Chris because he was commanded to, and he also seems to have a thing for Hassan. So basically, there is barely anything even worth mentioning about characters. There is no character development, there is no logic to character actions, and they are not even remotely interesting.

Visually, the anime is certainly not atrocious, but it’s not any good either – of course, you do need to take into account that this anime is from 1996. The backgrounds and character animation are normally fine, but frequently suffer from poorly animated battle sequences and still frames with movement lines and yelling.

There are also some laughable points where a static character is moved across the screen without actually being animated. Besides scenes like those, there are not any massive quality drops in animation – but then again, it wasn’t anything amazing to begin with.

On to a big visual problem, plenty of the design options make no sense. While the use of dinosaurs is excusable to some extent, all of the horses seem to be unicorns – not your typical shining white horse with a silver horn, but they look just like regular horses with horns. Why? Who knows. There was also some pseudo-hydra formed by these things that were cannibalizing each other. For some reason.

But now, let me talk about what makes this anime so special – the combination of the script and voice acting. It’s quite difficult to sum up the nature of the voice acting, so let me give an analogy; it’s like laughing at someone who trips on nothing and falls flat on their face.

The combination of the writing and vocal delivery makes for some hilarious dialogue – let me give you a few examples.

“Did the maidens of the Maetomius tribe also escape?”
“Ah, but if they didn’t… *takes a swig of wine* then how did Garzey’s Wing appear?”
“Indeed, yes.”

“I hear myself calling to me!”
“Oh yeah, morning practice?”

“I am being chased by a real army!”
“Huh? I know. I will do that here.”

“Who are you talking to?”
“Myself, in my own world.”
“Is there another you in your world, Lord Chris?”
“It seems like it.”

“Sorry, but the injured will have to act as a decoy for the enemy, it will buy us some time.”
“Are we using those people as a decoy?”

And these don’t even include the brilliant one-liners, such as “I have bruises all over my body because I had to fight naked.” or “I must somehow make sense of our convoluted situations.” or “There is a war going on; even dinosaurs are here, and they use bows and arrows. My sword is unbelievably dull.” or “Oh my god it felt like I was having a dream!” or… okay, you get the idea.

Altogether, Garzey’s Wing is a complete disaster that still manages to be enjoyable because of a hilariously bad dub, which is frankly the only redeeming factor of the entire anime. I can’t imagine how painful it must be to watch the subbed version of this – of course, that’s assuming that the Japanese dub is at least marginally better. In summation, Garzey’s Wing sucks but you should still watch it.

Story – 1
Characters – 1
Visuals – 3
Sound – 1
Enjoyment – 8

Overall – ? (Objectively, a 1, but the dub makes the whole thing worthwhile)
Recommendation: Watch (conditionally)
If you enjoy B-movies or other things that are so bad they’re hilarious, then watch this. Otherwise, at least try to watch the first episode – it’s on Youtube, so you’d lose nothing but a half an hour of your time at the worst.

I tried to take the review seriously, but this anime is so ridiculous that I couldn’t help being sarcastic or joke a bit at times.

I was laughing the entire time I was watching this anime. It's so terrible it makes you laugh! It's a real doozy. In a bad way.

Oh man. Oh geez. Oh no. So I heard about this little gem a while back, and got around to powering through the 3 episodes into the wee hours of the morning...which is the perfect time to watch this thing, of course. That little period between 2 o'clock and 4 o'clock in the morning, that time when anything's funny? That's Garzey's Wing Time. Also, getting fucking WASTED is encouraged (please drink responsibly). The problem was, when I decided to show this to my friends, they weren't exactly into it. Moral of the story? Get good friends. Anyway, Garzey's Wing...not really much to say about this ... one. It's one of those shows that seems like it's going off of a wikipedia plot summary of itself: things happen for no discernible reason, the lines sound completely incongruous, and the plot seems to go everywhere, and yet nowhere, at once. There is zero effort to characterize anyone, least of all our main..."hero?" All in all, its about as bad as any anime could be. There is not a single area in which this show doesn't fail, and it is GLORIOUS to watch. Endlessly quotable, the voice acting is really the true star of the show. The actors seem hopelessly lost and confused, just like poor Chris, a slave to the will of Yamato-Takeru-No-Mikoto. The lines are delivered (unintentionally, one presumes) with immaculate comedic timing, which are only helped along by the frenetic and frequently insane editing. The perfect comedy anime, a classic of terrible cinema that belongs on a pedestal with The Room and Birdemic. One final fun fact, to close us off: this was directed by the guy who made Gundam. You have a good night, folks.

Let's start off right: Watching this in Japanese is torture. Watching this in English? The best decision you've EVER made. In your life.

To wit:

One day, Yoshiyuki Tomino, creator of Gundam, went "hey what if i wrote a prequel to that Aura Battler Dunbine thing I did". So he did.

Sometime later, someone went "let's adapt that prequel into these OVAs". And Tomino went "lol sure dude".

And lo, GARZEY'S WING was born.

... It's so quintessentially bad. Legend says it pierced the veil of time and H.P. "Racist McGee" Lovecraft saw it and went "that's less explainable than Cthulhu".

So where to begin? Story? There's a story? I mean this half-Japanese dude goes to a fantasy world but he's still on Earth but his soul and body are connected, he's surrounded by 12th and 13th century foreign warriors, there are even dinosaurs there, and his sword is unbelievably dull.

Also most of the time his Earthbound body is at a pool party or asleep.

The English dub is bad. Not painfully bad, no. It's amazingly bad. It feels like the ADR director left after a few minutes and the voice actors just delivered everything as quick as they could There's an ACTUAL ACTRESS in this dub! She's been in a ton of stuff including Better Call Saul and House of Cards. It's mindblowingly inept, unlike the rest of the liscensor's work which is just inept.

The music's ok. Shiro Sagisu of Evangelion/Nadia/Bleach fame did it. It's not memorable. It's ok.

The art's bad. Its the 90s generic style. The animation is decent in episode one and laughable the other episodes. The second episode features a man sliding across screen to avoid an arrow in one of the funniest moments in the show.

Character-wise? it's so rushed nobody has a character. There's a very telling moment in the final episode, where Chris (our hero) goes "Why does that guy live with monkeys?" and the main girl goes "He's interesting because he is a loner". That's all the development that man gets and he's important to the final episode. Kind of. But not really.

I don't know anyone's name aside from Chris and Rumiko, who's voiced by the aforementioned House of Cards lady. The best character is the fairy who I literally just remembered exists.

It's bad. Nothing is good about it. But get a couple friends and it's the greatest 90 minutes of your life for the next 90 minutes. It's lie Street Fighter: The Movie, except that's actually fun on its own and not fun because it's bad.


A final adage to leave you with from one of the side characters: "Humans are just human." That's the most Tomino thing I think Tomino's ever written.

I want that line engraved on my tombstone.

~~~
RETROMETROID
1992-20XX
"Humans are just human" - Garzey's Wing
~~~

Garzey's Wing has been described by some as the worst anime of all time. Is it? I don't think I've seen enough anime to be able to say that. But among the anime I've seen? It's hard to think of a poorer show. On the bright side, there is only 3 episodes of it, so it will be over quickly!

Garzey's Wing is the third anime to be set in the fictional medieval world of Byston Well after the television series Aura Battler Dunbine and a 3 episode OVA of said show made a few years later. Yoshiyuki Tomino, the creator of the first series and ... of the overall franchise returns to direct. While I have not read them, I have heard that the original novels that the Byston Well universe was devoid of mecha and that the animation studio Sunrise forced Tomino to add them to Dunbine. With this show, Tomino finally gets the chance to show us the world of Byston Well without the studio and the toy sponsors forcing mecha upon him. Alas, it doesn't do him any good. The simplest way I can describe the plot of this show is that an ordinary boy, Chris Senshu is suddenly transported to the medieval world of Byston Well where he starts participating in the battles of the Metomeus tribe.

The criticisms one could have with this show is virtually endless and too long to list here. But I will go over some of the notable flaws I think the show has.

-Tomino is a great ideas man, but at times his actual execution can be shaky. Early in his shows one is often thrown into things and can have a hard time understanding things. And that is especially the case here. It is extremely hard to understand what is going on with only a single viewing. Even for people who have seen other shows set in Byston Well. The best way to understand things is to watch the first episode several times before moving on to the second one. But the quality of this show is so poor that I think hardly anyone would want to do that.

-A lot of scenes and dialogue in this show is nonsensical. Chris runs around buck naked much of the first episode. While nudity is a common Tomino trope (Ideon, Brain Powered) the way it is approached in the first episode of this show is just absurd. Chris is summoned to Byston Well by a duck. A duck. Here's a sample line of dialogue from the show: "It is most effective to place a Doragorole at Gagajuju." What the hell does any of that mean!?!?

-Much of the first two episodes, Chris keeps talking about this big reunion he is attending, and then it ends up just being him meeting a couple of friends at a pool. A big letdown.

-The show's English dub is horrible. And this is coming from someone who enjoys a lot of English dubs and is usually more willing to give them some slack than others. The casting, acting and dialogue are all horrendous. You will laugh at how ridiculous it is. For example, the main character telling someone "You certainly got sexy!" at said pool scene.

-Character development and consistency of characters in this show is horrendous. There is a scene near the end of the show where Chris is distressed over what to do about a dying enemy and whether he should kill him. Yet mere minutes earlier he was slaughtering another soldier with a sword with no hesitation whatsoever as his opponent's blood splashed all over him.

-Despite being only three episodes, the plot does not move fast enough. Before you know it the show is over and you feel as if hardly anything has happened. When the third episode comes to a close, the show just ends. You receive no payoff for the show's storylines. Characters simply disappear with no explanation whatsoever. Certain plots, like Chris teaching others how to create guns doesn't go anywhere. The show builds up one of the antagonist characters, making you think he will be the show's main villain, but he doesn't even appear in the final episode.

I could go on and on and on, but why subject both myself and whoever is reading this to such anguish? There is one and only one reason to ever watch this show, if you want to laugh at how ridiculously bad it is.

Those of you who have been anime fans for a while probably know that Garzey's Wing is one of the most reviled, known-to-be-awful anime titles of all time, and, quite frankly, I don't intend to change that opinion. I think that, if you need a reason to watch Garzey's Wing, that's gonna have to be your reason going into it. But you have to be ready for it, because even preparing yourself mentally might not be enough. And that's because Garzey's Wing is so unrepentantly terrible. In fact, the dub will immediately let you in on what you're in for. I've had my shares of ... bad dubs up through the ages, most of which usually make me switch to Japanese. Not so with Garzey's Wing, though. The dub is so utterly wooden, most of the characters sound like they've never set foot in a dubbing studio before, only starring in this OAV because they're literally forced to at gunpoint. "You are so easygoing", the female love interest chides as our hero drives off on his motorcycle to attend a class reunion pool party. "My necklace is rattling. I wonder, could it be the shiratori shrine?" Chris muses as he drives by during the night. "This must be where Yamato-Takeru-no-Mikoto came down from the sky." And the exposition goes on and on and on. It humorously reminds me of what Carlos said about the dialogue in his Escaflowne movie review, where people would uncharacteristically throw monologues about the land, the mythology or the people to aid those who walk into this OVA not knowing what the hell is going on. And it's not helping. The dialogue only serves to make the video feed redundant, but doesn't really do a whole lot making things clear. Fellow reviewer Jason Huff was the one who made me aware that Garzey's Wing is actually related to another show called Aura Battler Dunbine, which only serves to bring even more questions into the equation. Would I understand this show better if I had watched Aura Battler Dunbine? Or would that only make this one worse by comparison. Would switching to Japanese help? Somehow, I doubt that. If there's one positive thing that can be gleaned from this, then the show is at least visually interesting. Character designs are actually pretty good for the most part, and the backgrounds are also nice. If you've seen screenshots from Garzey's Wing, you might actually wonder why people complain about it. The animation is just terrible, though. I know I complained about the animation in Record of Lodoss War, but Garzey's Wing has animation more on the level of Crying Freeman. Hell, Garzey's Wing might actually beat said show when it comes to animation cel pans. The story plays out like a fairly typical fantasy story. Our main hero is summoned to an alien world, and has to save an enslaved race of people from their oppressors. The angles, if you can call them that, is that Chris is apparently separated into two identical entities through the summoning, and the two of... him... can communicate with each other through... well, interdimensional telepathy, I guess. Garzey's Wing sounds fine... on paper. And that's kind of the problem, because the execution is just terrible. It's almost like Amon Saga; Chris might have more of a personality compared to Amon, but both stories are hilarious, confusing messes with vaguely impressive fantasy elements and terrible, Zero Wing level dialogue. For instance, the first hurdle you'll face is exposition that doesn't teach you anything. Mostly, it's namedropping, and you're left asking "What the hell is a Gabujuju?" "What the hell is a Bunzudo?" "What the hell is Gabygas, and is that related to the Gabujuju?", but more importantly: "Why are all these names so darn goofy?!" And Jesus Christ, the aforementioned terrible dub just makes the whole thing so much more difficult to digest, which is only made worse by the many ways this show doesn't make any damn sense. For instance, what's the importance of the leap year? Who are all these people, and what's their history? Why are all of Chris's friends in the present time taking everything that goes on at face value? It would help to know these things, but Garzey's Wing just throws its main protagonist straight into the whole thing, and I swear; he goes through most of the whole show sounding as confused as I was when I watched it. There was also the whole subplot thing centered around Falan, the small fairy-like girl of a race called Fellarian, and for some reason, they're ostracised in Byston Well for largely unexplained reasons. Seriously, Garzey's Wing proceeds to literally smash us over the head with it somewhere in the middle of its runtime. Apparently, they're a race not to be trusted, at least according to the Bystonians. But, if this show is anything to go by, they have a strong sense of community, and Falan herself is quite loyal to Chris, even if more by necessity than desire. She might be annoying at times, but she's hardly malevolent. The show proceeds to give a half-baked explanation to this; that Falan was pulled with Chris, and that somehow purified her in the process. The rest of them just curse and mess with people according to the priestesses, which sounds more like an excuse. And so -- I write, sighing heavily -- she's also one of the more developed characters in this show. Which isn't saying a lot, granted, but her basic personality means she actually has one compared to the hundreds of nobodies running around. Even the villains are almost comically villainous, all going "We enslave them all and force them to do our bidding, and they rebel against us? The nerve of them all. I will make them pay." Unfortunately, the only other Yoshiyuki Tomino show I've seen is the almost equally infamous Ideon. Not being a mecha fan, I haven't really experienced the man at his best, and as much as could be said about Ideon, it doesn't reach the level of absurdity and sheer badness of Garzey's Wing. The maddening thing is that Garzey's Wing is so terrible, so bizarre, that it will influence how you look at other fantasy shows. It's more or less like certain scenes in the Lord of the Rings movies once you've seen a certain remixed song -- they bleed through and lessen the impact of said scenes, inspiring humorous smirks instead of grim pursing of lips. And much as I love watching a really bad show, Garzey's Wing does things to me. Bad, bad things. Things that may never heal properly. How do you outdo a show in being terrible? By being a terrible show made by someone who really should be able to do a whole lot better, that's how.

Where do I start? I was inspired to watch this anime when I read other inspiring reviews. I was thinking,"ha this gonna be one of those mars of destruction animes". Well...it was. But I rarely laughed and cried instead. I wouldn't wish this anime on anyone,seriously. I was determined to finish the anime because I always like to follow up with something I started. I lived through 2 episodes and I was done. Haven't been happier after finishing an anime. My head was hurting while I was watching. At first I laughed at the voice acting for the english dub,I might as well have voice ... acted and it wouldn't have made a difference. I don't know what's worse,a person hearing me rap when I first started to rap or the voice acting in this anime. And I know how some of you gonna get after reading this reveiw,your gonna be curious to see what the heck made this anime such a drag to watch. And saying that it was "a drag" is putting it SUPER modestly. Im not gonna say it was bad because I don't like to be harsh on nobody.

The story just.....just makes your head hurt. I didn't understand what was going on for almost the whole hour I watched/listened the 2 episodes. I was hoping to get a good laugh and instead I wasted an hour of my life watching an anime that just tortured me instead.I didn't understand what the point of the holy warrior was,I didn't understand why he was able to communicate with his other self after he got pulled back into time,I didn't understand as to what the warfare was about and the objective. If I was a tyrant...forget beating people to death,I would take headphones,crank the volume to maximum and torture them with this anime. I would have them strapped down on a chair and have them listen and watch the 3 episodes over and over again. No,im not joking. You probably can torture a person like that.

Conclusion,if you wanna verify everything I said and watch the anime go ahead,but you've been warned. And many people who've watched this anime won't disagree with me. The director is a genius,he directed the legendary anime Mobile Suit Gundam. I don't know what went wrong with this one. This anime has made me question whether I should ever watch a poor quality anime ever again,as well as my sanity. Watch at your own risk.